Feels Like I'm Dreaming

This is what I felt when my father passed away last 12th of October, 2015. When I saw him for the first time inside the coffin, I say to myself "oh, this is what they say that everything is like a dream". I felt like I'm dreaming that time. Honestly, I can't believe that time. I cried a lot, that my eyes became swollen. I don't know where my tears came from, but it kept flowing through my eyes. Honestly, it is not easy for me to adjust at that moment. I don't want to go home [not to mention everything are chaotic for me that time] and I really really don't want to go home. If there's a place I can go with, I will go to that place than to go home. As the days passed by, I don't know if I still can't believe or I still can't accept what happened. There are times that I looked at the door and seems like I'm waiting for someone to come home, and suddenly I remembered everything and all I can say is, ah right! I forgot! And when I am on church or in bible study, I suddenly remembered my father as an MC or song leader, and I can't help it ;( . Even in my dreams, I'm really sad, I cried a lot too. I missed him so much, missed the moments together with him. I have so many thoughts in my mind. Lots of questions. But just like what God said at Romans 8:28 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Bad things, good things, all things work together for good. I prayed that I'll overcome all the things, all the thoughts in my mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyDzKToluyg

Knowing what I know about heaven Believing that your all the way home Knowing that your somewhere better Is all I need to let you go I could hope that I could pray you back But why on earth would I do that When your somewhere life and love never ends